EPHESUS — Struggling to stretch his third letter to the recommended length, the Apostle John cleverly used 1.5-spacing, extra wide margins, and wrote in a generous 22-point font.
The beloved apostle whom Jesus loved reportedly worked hard to pad his third letter, knowing he was well under the typical word count for Holy Scripture.
“I just don’t have anything more to say. Maybe we can shrink the margins even a little more,” said John, working to fill space. “Still not enough. Maybe I should just write that I don’t want to write anymore. How about: ‘I have much to write you, but I do not want to do so with pen and ink.’ Oh yeah, that’s perfect. Just bought me two more lines.”
John claimed he got the idea for formatting his third letter after seeing the writings of Titus and Jude. “Those guys have it figured out,” said John. “Alright, my word count is almost there. I can probably get a whole new paragraph out of saying that I’ll just talk to them in person. That should do it.”
At publishing time, the Apostle John had cut off part of the scroll so as not to make the giant header and footer so obvious.
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