CROMWELL, CT — On a chilly spring morning, local man Jim Harbor reportedly paused to consider whether what he was missing in life was Jesus or a really cool jacket."Well, I'm a little chilly, so I probably do need a cool new…
In a 72-minute interview with podcaster Michael Franzese, former CIA agent and Senate staffer John Kiriakou told the former Colombo crime-family caporegime that, as Secretary of State Marco Rubio inadvertently revealed, Israel forced the U.S. to…
Brought to you by: Best Cigar PricesKids these days. They're pushovers. Back in the old days, every kid knew how to work, fight, and smoke tobacco. How can parents today recapture that toughness for their kids?The Babylon Bee has come up…
BRENTWOOD, TN — The man who pushed over Jack Reacher's motorcycle and was subsequently pounded into the ground has announced that he will next go shoot John Wick's dog.Ronnie Taylor, not content with being pummeled to a bloody pulp by…
“The trouble with socialism,” said late British leader Margaret Thatcher, “is that eventually you run out of other people’s money.” Socialism also, one might add, can make the people with money run out.This is a concern, too, with proposed and…
BYWATER — A particularly plump hobbit named Elanor Bolger has decided to go on a diet, cutting back from her usual six meals a day to a measly four meals a day.Hobbits are known for eating six meals a day, including breakfast, second breakfast,…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Just minutes before President Donald Trump announced a peace deal with Iran was close, a mysterious investor named "Pancy_Nelosi" placed hundreds of millions on a speculative trade that oil prices would plummet.The…
The U.S. Supreme Court ruled unanimously in favor of a street preacher who argues a city ordinance unconstitutionally prevents him from sharing his Christian faith in public. The Supreme Court ruled 9-0 in Olivier v. City of Brandon that Gabriel…
HOUSTON, TX — Local newlyweds Brandon and Amelia Stockwell reported having the time of their lives during a romantic two-week honeymoon spent entirely in the TSA security line at Houston Hobby.Highlights of the trip included a spontaneous…
CHICAGO, IL — In the wake of two historically bad seasons, the owner of the Chicago White Sox has reportedly opted to enter his team into the WNBA to improve their chances."Last year I was watching the players make error after error and it…
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