Aw Crap: You’re In Line To Give An Account Of Your Life To God Right After Tim Tebow

HEAVEN — After throwing off this mortal coil, local man Kevin Reese was prepared to give an account of his life to God, only to find himself in line right behind Tim Tebow.

“Oh, come on,” sighed Reese. “Seriously? Of all the millions of people to get in line behind. Couldn’t have gotten a deathbed convert or something. Had to be Tim freakin’ Tebow.”

As he waited his turn, Reese took time to consider how the reckoning of his earthly journey might sound coming after Tebow. “Well… I can’t say that I used my time and money to host extravagant parties for kids with Down Syndrome,” said Reese. “Didn’t lead the charge to end human trafficking. Never proclaimed the Gospel to millions on national television while being hailed as the greatest teammate of all time. Didn’t grant hundreds of ‘wishes’ for kids with cancer. Never went on mission trips across the globe to baptize hundreds. Aw man, this sucks.”

According to witnesses, Tebow naturally made use of the time in line to get to know Reese, humbly encourage him, and pray for him.

“Now you’re just making it worse,” sighed Reese.

At publishing time, Reese had turned around in line only to discover that the guy after him was Kirk Cameron.