Celebs
Candace Owens Confirmed To Be A Jewish Plot To Make Antisemites Look Retarded
U.S. — The White House confirmed on Friday what many had long suspected: that podcast host Candace Owens is an elaborate Jewish plot to make antisemites look retarded.Intelligence intercepted by the Islamic Republic of Iran appeared to show…
Sonny Hostin Flees In Terror After Seeing Pillsbury American Flag Cookie Dough
NEW YORK CITY — A screaming Sonny Hostin fled in terror after rounding the corner in the grocery store only to come face-to-face with a shelf of Pillsbury American flag cookie dough.Hostin, longtime host on The View, cried out for help as she…
Aliens Go Home & Say There Is No Intelligent Life On Earth After Meeting Neil DeGrasse Tyson
U.S. — Humanity's long-awaited first contact with advanced extraterrestrials came to a disappointing end this week after visiting aliens returned home and officially classified Earth as a barren, unintelligent world following a brief…
Elon Musk Confirms He Will Soon Have Enough Money To Become Batman
AUSTIN, TX — As the richest man in the world approaches a net worth of $1 trillion, Musk confirmed that he would soon have enough money to officially become the Batman."A day is coming soon where I will be able to say, ‘I'm…
Bill Gates Brought Before Congress To Answer For Epstein, Windows Vista
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Microsoft founder and former CEO Bill Gates was brought before the United States Congress this week to answer for his connection to convicted sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein and Windows Vista.The House Oversight Committee held…
10 Great New Jobs For Stephen Colbert After ‘Late Show’ Finale
Talk show host Steven Colbert signed off this week after CBS aired his final episode of The Late Show, leaving him on the hunt for his next professional endeavor. But what will he do next?The Babylon Bee is here to offer the following list of…
Hunter Biden’s Reputation In Ruins After Talking To Candace Owens
U.S. — After sitting down for an interview with podcaster Candace Owens, Hunter Biden's reputation was reportedly in ruins.Former President Joe Biden's son — best known for multiple run-ins with the law stemming from drugs and other…
‘I Am Your Father,’ Reveals Trump To Horrified Mark Hamill
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Donald Trump called an impromptu press conference in front of the White House this week to deliver a life-changing message to actor Mark Hamill, revealing that he was, in reality, the actor's father.The actor was…
Here Is Everything You Need To Know About The Blake Lively-Justin Baldoni Case
The internet has been abuzz once again about the dueling claims and court cases between actress Blake Lively and actor Justin Baldoni. With so much contradictory information, it's hard to know what's real or where to begin. Here,…
Hobo With Garbage Can Stuck On His Head Mistaken For Met Gala Attendee
NEW YORK, NY — The fashion world was in turmoil this morning after it was revealed that a hobo with a garbage can stuck on his head who wandered onto the red carpet was mistaken for a Met Gala attendee.Hollywood A-listers and industry experts…