Sports
Sad: Britain Tries To Play Baseball But Gets The Rules Wrong And Forgets Their Gloves And Puts Sticks Behind Home Plate For Some Reason
LONDON — As the fun and excitement of America's Major League Baseball season draws to a dramatic close, the British had reportedly taken it upon themselves to join in and set up their own league. However, they have reportedly mucked it up,…
Man Buys New TV So He Can Watch NFL Refs Blow Calls In Stunning 4K Resolution
NEW BRAUNFELS, TX — One superfan's dream of seeing his team play in high definition came true this weekend, as a local man bought a new TV so he could watch NFL referees blow calls in stunning 4K resolution.Derek Johnson upgraded his home…
NFL Bows To Pressure, Will Have Jordan Peterson Do Halftime Show Instead
NEW YORK, NY — Due to overwhelming pressure, the National Football League announced that it had canceled plans for rapper Bad Bunny to perform at the Super Bowl LX halftime show and instead offered the coveted spot to psychologist and author Dr.…
Trump Brokers Historic Peace Deal Between Yankees And Red Sox Fans
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the peace agreement between Israel and Hamas tentatively settled, President Donald Trump reportedly set his sights on quelling the longstanding unrest between Yankees and Red Sox fans."We're going to make a…
Mark Sanchez Sentenced To Five More Seasons With The New York Jets
INDIANAPOLIS, IN — Legal analysts were stunned by the severity of the penalty handed down in the wake of a weekend stabbing incident, as former NFL player Mark Sanchez was sentenced to five more seasons with the New York Jets.Sanchez, who was…
Trump Signs Executive Order Mandating The Only Artist Who Can Perform The Super Bowl Halftime Show Is Creed
WASHINGTON, D.C. — America took yet another step away from destructive progressive policies and toward a new Golden Age today, as President Donald Trump signed an executive order mandating that the only musical act that can perform at the Super…
Satchel Paige: No Man Got to Be Common
Most Major League Baseball players retire from the sport before the age of 40. Do you know who holds the record as the oldest MLB player ever? That would be the late, great Leroy “Satchel” Paige, a remarkable American who many baseball…
Conservatives Announce Boycott Of NFL Until Next Sunday
U.S. — Following the announcement that music artist Bad Bunny would be performing at the Super Bowl halftime show, outraged conservatives across the country vowed to boycott the NFL until next Sunday.Angry fans from largely conservative areas of…
Super Bowl Halftime Show To Feature MS-13 Backup Dancers
NEW YORK, NY — In addition to announcing that music star Bad Bunny would be performing, the National Football League issued a follow-up statement revealing that the Super Bowl halftime show would also feature authentic MS-13 backup…
Smart: This Man Joined The Mets So He Could Get Whole October Off Every Year
NEW YORK, NY — In a move experts now hail as one of the more shrewd decisions made in the professional sports world in the last several years, star baseball player Juan Soto revealed that he joined the Mets so he could get the entire month of…