U.S.
Subarus Now Come With Built-In ICE Tracker
U.S. — To keep up with popular consumer trends and make products more appealing to the company's customer base, Subaru announced that all models will now come standard with a built-in ICE tracker.The new feature comes as an increasing…
Don Lemon Immediately Bursts Into Flames Upon Entering Church
SAINT PAUL, MN — An already traumatic incident turned even worse on Sunday, as former CNN personality and apparent left-wing protest ringleader Don Lemon immediately burst into flames upon entering a church.Chaos erupted during the morning…
Pam Bondi Promises To Prosecute Minnesota Rioters As Soon As She Finishes Releasing All Those Epstein Files
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the American public demanding action be taken by the government in response to aggressive and violent leftist protests across the country, U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi promised to prosecute Minnesota rioters as soon as…
Minnesota Changes Official State Bird To Screaming Lesbian
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Following recent developments stemming from political protests and clashes with the federal government across the state, Minnesota announced that it had changed the official state bird to a screaming lesbian.After the recent…
Ominous Sign? New Army Recruitment Ads Say ‘Visit Lovely Greenland’
U.S. — In yet another potentially ominous sign that President Donald Trump was dead-set on the United States acquiring the territory for strategic and national security purposes, new U.S. Army recruitment ads offered prospective enlistees the…
Ketanji Brown Jackson Arrives At Work In Official SCOTUS Short Bus
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson arrived for work at the Supreme Court building this morning in the official, yellow SCOTUS short bus.Onlookers cheered as Jackson emerged from the bus, after several minutes of trying to figure…
Supreme Court Justices Bring In Ms. Rachel To Explain Cases To Ketanji Brown Jackson
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With arguments being presented on issues that will have far-reaching effects on shaping the future of American laws, society, and culture, the other eight Supreme Court justices brought in Ms. Rachel to explain cases to…
U.S. Offers To Trade Its Liberal Women For Iranian Women
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As part of ongoing efforts to improve things in both countries, the United States reportedly made an official diplomatic offer to trade all of its liberal women for Iranian women.According to highly placed sources,…
Protesters Protest For Higher Protesting Wage
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Protesters hard at work sowing chaos in the city because of ICE raids and the death of Renee Good have reportedly transitioned over to protesting for a higher protesting wage."Protesting is hard. You have to make clever…
Gotham’s Liberal Women Gather Outside Arkham To Protest Arrest Of The Joker
GOTHAM CITY — Justice faced a new obstacle in the wake of the Batman's latest daring feat, as Gotham's liberal women gathered outside Arkham Asylum to protest the vigilante's arrest of the Joker.Sources close to the GCPD's…