WORLD — In a historic ecumenical breakthrough, devout Roman Catholics finally found common ground with Protestants in ignoring what the pope says most of the time.
The reconciliation between the two long-opposed factions came right after Pope Leo XIV said something that both sides decided to ignore. The key moment happened when conservative, traditional Roman Catholic believers realized that if the pontiff did not speak “ex cathedra,” then they were not really obligated to agree with or follow whatever thing he just said.
“I would always groan whenever I saw him talking on television about war or immigration or climate change,” said Maria Ferrari. “I would have to defend him all the time, saying ‘he’s being mistranslated’ or ‘he’s being taken out of context,’ but then I realized that, no, he is just saying things that are really wrong.”
“What a relief that I can just ignore whatever he’s saying most of the time, just like all my Protestant friends.”
Protestant Daniel Knox agreed, saying, “Yeah, I almost never listen to what that guy has to say. I have 99 problems, but a pope telling me what to do isn’t one of them.”
At publishing time, representatives from the Eastern and Oriental Orthodox churches were also chiming in to say that they, too, ignore what the pope says most of the time.
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