Democrats Furious Trump Would Make Haitians Leave Most Racist Country On Earth

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrats have reacted with outrage and fury that President Trump could force Haitians to leave the evil, racist country known as the United States.

In the wake of the Supreme Court ruling that ends temporary deportation protection for many Haitians, Senator Chuck Schumer lambasted Trump for planning to force thousands of migrants out of the horrible U.S. and back to the peaceful, wonderful country of Haiti.

“Trump would send these people back to the paradise known as Haiti, and we won’t stand for it,” said Schumer. “This radical, Trump-owned Supreme Court has just made way for the President to make hundreds of thousands of people leave the worst country on planet earth, otherwise known as America. These dear Haitians will be forced to leave this oppressive, awful society filled with racism and inequality and go to the utopia of Haiti. It’s an absolute travesty.”

According to interviews, several Haitians expressed a surprising desire to stay in America despite it being irreparably terrible. “Um, actually, we’d really like to not leave,” said Haitian man Ronald Pierre. “We totally hear Mr. Schumer that America is the absolute worst, but if it’s all the same to everyone, we’d love to stay put in this awful place.”

At publishing time, the administration had announced that all the celebrities who made “Haiti is paradise” posts would be joining the Haitians in being deported.