EGYPT — Newly unearthed records appear to indicate a man claiming to be from the future traveled to ancient Memphis to wow the early Egyptians with the futuristic technology of Gushers.
Gushers, a candy with a gummy outer shell and a juicy, liquid center, would have been like magic to the ancient Egyptians and may even have led to the man being rewarded by the pharaoh with up to half the kingdom.
“Behold! This candy seems to explode in your mouth!” the man known only as “The Traveler” explained, according to Egyptian historian Herodotus. “But this is not by the power of Ra. ‘Tis the work of man!”
If the story of a time traveler sharing the work of Gushers is true, it’s believed the man picked ancient Egypt to share it with because of their meticulous record-keeping.
According to Herodotus, the ancients were amazed by the futuristic candies. “It explodes in my mouth!” said one. “Truly does it gush like the Nile!”
Following clues from the ancient records, archeologists discovered an ancient stele (upright stone slab erected as a monument) recounting the visit of The Traveler as he recounted the ingredients of Gushers. The slab itself doesn’t list the ingredients, but it does list The Traveler as “Steve of Delaware.”
At publishing time, Egyptologists deduced that the secret of Gushers was lost in the destruction of the Library of Alexandria.
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