U.S. — Americans across the country struggled to rein in their excitement after news broke that Iran may strike the state of California.
People passing each other in the grocery tried to play it cool as they shared knowing smiles that any moment, the bombs could start falling on Sacramento.
“You, um, see the news?” said local women Sarah Billings to the grocery store cashier.
“Yes ma’am,” replied the cashier, slowly raising one hand with her fingers crossed. The two gave each other a quick nod, then went back to the groceries.
Once back at home, families all over America have become glued to their television sets. “Come on, come on,” said local man Jimmy Mathers as he watched the news alongside his wife. “Do something right for once, Iran. Aim for the fault lines, baby. This is your moment, don’t hold back now.”
At publishing time, Americans had confirmed that they would be okay if Iran missed and hit Oregon.
The news media seems to be having a problem reporting the news.
