Popular New Service Removes All The Orange Candies Before You Get The Box

U.S. — A popular new service that sifts through your boxes of candy to remove all the orange pieces for you has reportedly taken off with consumers.

AgentOrange™ promises to filter out orange candies from all your favorite products, including Sprees, SourPatch Kids, Starbursts, Skittles, and even M&Ms — even though all the M&Ms taste exactly the same.

“We’re getting rid of what everyone hates,” said AgentOrange™ founder Damien Pickles. “Everyone hates orange candies, and if candy makers can’t understand that, we will step in to fix their products after the fact. After all, the customer is always right.”

Customers tired of orange candies can download the AgentOrange™ app on their phone and hire someone to buy and sift through their box of candy before they enjoy it for a modest $5.00 fee.

“I used to give all the orange Starbursts to my kids, but now I don’t have to pawn them off on anyone. Thanks, AgentOrange!” one happy customer wrote in a 5-star app review.

The success of the third-party app has reportedly attracted the attention of select candy manufacturers directly. Mars Inc., which owns the rights to several candy lines including M&M and Skittles, reportedly expressed interest in contracting with AgentOrange™ to remove orange candies from their product lines before shipping them to vendors.

“We don’t even know how to make M&Ms anymore. We lost the technology,” Mars CEO Bob Mars said. “So we certainly can’t just change the recipe and remove the orange pieces on our own. That’s why we’re eager to work out a mutually beneficial agreement with AgentOrange.”

At publishing time, AgentOrange™ faced stiff competition from new rival service NoYellows™, which offered a service to remove the yellow candies from all products — a color that experts suspect even more people hate.