U.S. — There are two major complaints about TV shows these days. One is that they take so long between seasons. Network TV used to put out 20-plus-episode seasons every single year, but modern shows sometimes take up to three years to produce eight episodes. The other complaint is that everything is too dark in modern Hollywood productions. Gone is the Technicolor of the past, and in its place are muted colors and night scenes so dark that one can hardly tell what’s going on.
A new report indicates these two things are related: the reason TV shows now take so long to make is that they’ve been trying to do all their production with no lights on.
“No one can see anything, and they’re just constantly bumping into each other,” explained Eric Holloway, who was commissioned by a major studio to look into the problem. “Thus, productions are taking three to four times longer.”
This was echoed by Donny Cooke, a Gen-Z producer of multiple prestige dramas. “Yeah, I guess in the past, productions used something called lights, so people could see stuff,” Cooke said. “Legend tells of these people called ‘gaffers’ who would set that up, but I guess they all died off or retired. No one left wants to fool around with lights because apparently they involve electricity, which sounds heckin’ dangerous.”
Cooke went on to argue that the lack of lights and visible color made everything moodier and more dramatic. “People don’t want to see things — that’s just for cheapo TV productions of the past.” Cooke then had to end the interview, as he stated they really needed to finish the fifth season of their drama before the child actors they’d hired turned 40.
At publishing time, a new report also indicated that TV shows also struggle to find audiences these days due to no longer utilizing creative devices once known as “coherent plots” and “good writing.”
Do you think you can guess which one is the terrorist?
