Smithsonian Director Says She Is Completely Unaware Of Any ‘Kill Whitey’ Tattoo On Her Forehead

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As congressional hearings looking into “wokeness” in federal institutions took place on Capitol Hill, a Smithsonian director admitted that she was completely unaware of any “Kill Whitey” tattoo on her forehead.

Questioned as to why she would get such an openly hostile and racist tattoo on her forehead, Museum of American History Director Anthea Hartig testified that she had no prior knowledge of said tattoo and was unaware of how it may have ended up there.

“Do you, or do you not have a ‘Kill Whitey’ tattoo on your forehead?” asked Congressman Brandon Gill.

“Not to my knowledge,” Hartig said before being handed a mirror. “Oh… my apologies. Apparently I do. How did that get there?”

Hartig went on to claim ignorance as to the presence or origin of the tattoo.

“This is news to me,” Hartig said. “You’ve brought to my attention that there is apparently a ‘Kill Whitey’ tattoo on my forehead, but this is not something I was aware of previously, nor can I provide any insight as to how it got there or what it means.”

Hartig pushed back against accusations from Republican committee members that the Smithsonian promotes any “woke” ideology, despite the prominent presence of “Kill Whitey” emblazoned across her forehead. “It’s preposterous to claim that there is any ideological bias,” Hartig said. “While the presence of this tattoo may seem to indicate otherwise, we are committed to showing no partiality. I didn’t put this on my forehead, and I’m not sure why you would think I did.”

At publishing time, Hartig had also testified that she had no idea how she had ended up as a registered member of the Black Panther Party.