Thousands Dead After New York Man Lowers Apartment Temp To 77 Degrees

NEW YORK, NY — Tragedy struck Friday afternoon, as thousands of people were reported dead after a New York man lowered the thermostat in his apartment to 77 degrees.

Despite Mayor Zohran Mamdani’s urging New Yorkers to keep their thermostats set no lower than 78 degrees to prevent strain on the city’s power grid, the local man flagrantly lowered the temperature on his air conditioner to 77, causing widespread death and destruction.

“The carnage is indescribable,” said one witness who claimed to have seen people dropping dead on the street by the dozens. “We were given clear instructions. There’s a reason Mayor Mamdani said 78 degrees. Unfortunately, some people just don’t want to follow the rules. And now we see the consequences.”

The man, identified as Aaron Landry from Manhattan, said he had no idea what his actions would cause. “I just wanted to be a little cooler,” he said. “I never imagined turning the thermostat down to 77 would do this. I’m sorry. It feels better in my apartment, but I’m so, so sorry.”

City officials ordered crews to work overtime heading into the 4th of July weekend to load up the thousands of corpses strewn throughout the city as a result of the man’s careless use of air conditioning.

At publishing time, Mayor Mamdani warned that one more thermostat lowered below 78 degrees would cause a chain reaction resulting in the death of all human life in the city.