9 Warning Signs Your Teacher Might Be Plotting To Assassinate The President

As a student, it’s wise to pick up clues from your teacher — whether it’s their expectations of you, what they might include on the final exam, and whether they are plotting to assassinate the U.S. President.

Here is a list of clear warning signs to watch out for that they may be planning deadly political violence:

1. They introduce themselves as “Mr. Jones, political assassin”: Not a good start.

2. The syllabus is entitled “How to kill the President”: This might spell trouble.

3. You are a student at a public school: Uh-oh.

4. They offer to connect with students on BlueSky: Concerning.

5. “Crafts Time” is engraving the Communist Manifesto on bullet casings: A touch worrisome.

6. Today’s assignment is mapping out the location of Trump’s security detail: Seems a bit odd for French class.

7. On Movie Day, they just show the Zapruder film on repeat: Hmmm.

8. They are offering 10 points extra credit for whoever wants to be their getaway driver: Not worth it, kid.

9. They announce that you’ll have a substitute tomorrow and maybe forever, depending on how this trip to D.C. goes: You might want to give someone a call.

Keep your head on a swivel for these subtle clues that your teacher may be the next presidential assassin-wannabe. Can you think of other signs? Leave them in the comments below.