Time Traveler From Year 3247 Warns They’re Still Making ‘Toy Story’ Movies

NEW YORK, NY — Citizens of the year 2026 were left confused on Tuesday after a rift in the spacetime continuum deposited an apparent time traveler from the year 3247, whose sole mission was to warn humanity that Disney was still making Toy Story movies where he came from.

The traveler, who only identified himself as “a messenger,” urged mankind to destroy Disney before it had the chance to make more installments of the franchise, which he said had just released Toy Story 157 in his timeline.

“You have to stop them!” screamed the traveler, wearing a metallic jumpsuit and fleeing a sentient Woody doll. “I have traveled back over a thousand years to tell you about our terrifying future full of endless, tedious Buzz and Woody stories. It never ends!”

According to the chrononaut, Pixar’s flagship franchise was already gearing up for its 158th theatrical installment.

“By the 24th century, Tom Hanks’ digital consciousness was uploaded into a supercomputer just so he could keep voicing Woody,” the traveler sobbed as onlookers backed away. “In the year 2800, they ran out of actual toys, so the main character was a sentient quantum-nano-bot named ‘Fleshy’ who had an existential crisis about being a toaster. It won three Intergalactic Oscars. Please, you must stop them. End our suffering.”

The traveler confirmed that despite Toy Story 117 perfectly wrapping up the emotional arc of the entire human race, Disney greenlit a sequel three weeks later.

At publishing time, Pixar executives thanked the traveler for the free marketing data.