MONTGOMERY, AL — Following their sudden loss of funding from the Southern Poverty Law Center, members of Ku Klux Klan were reportedly forced purchase their iconic pointy white robes on the discount website Temu.
With several federal fraud charges being filed against the SPLC for supporting the KKK and similar organizations, racist hate groups across the country expressed concern over their finances going forward.
“Bad news, boys. The SPLC money is all dried up,” said KKK member Stockton Holmgren. “We’ve got to cut costs for a bit, which is why we just ordered our first shipment of robes from Temu. They may be a little snug, but we’re going to have to make it work right now.”
The SPLC was indicted by a grand jury on 11 charges and faces allegations that it paid extremist groups to conduct hate crimes. The sudden loss of funding has left several planned KKK events in the lurch. “We can’t afford to ride around on real horses any more. We’re going to have to go with the stick horses for now,” said Holmgren. “It’s just temporary until the SPLC can get back on track. Alright Bill, open the box of Temu robes, let’s see what we got.”
At publishing time, the KKK had decided to hold a bake sale to raise money for better robes.
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