CHARLESTON, SC — After returning from the frontlines of the war in Iran, a local drone has found itself struggling to adapt back to a civilian life of delivering Amazon packages.
Like so many soldiers before, the drone has felt a deep void upon trying to re-enter civilian life, grappling with the meaninglessness of delivering boxes filled with knick-knacks.
“What am I even doing,” sighed the drone as it dropped off a pack of tea towels. “How do you go from shooting Hellfire missiles while dodging small arms fire to delivering toasters? I was a part of something, man.”
Several drones have expressed difficulty coming home, with many falling into unemployment and homelessness. “I got a job, but was fired within days after attempting to neutralize some neighborhood dogs,” said a local drone. “All I know how to do is establish air superiority, but no one on the cul-de-sac wants that kind of drone. It’s a struggle.”
At publishing time, the drone had been seen hovering silently over a driveway, whispering “stay on target… stay on target…” before dropping a package and immediately flaring countermeasures.
Steve and Timpani’s continued adjustment to all things Texas hits a speed bump when Timpani’s sister, Brittuni, arrives.
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