life
White House Launches Moms.Gov Directing Women to Pregnancy Resource Centers
On Mother’s Day, the White House announced the creation of Mom.gov, an innovative website connecting new and expectant mothers with pregnancy resource centers and other helpful information. However, the website also directs women to drugs and…
Man Just 17 Home Depot Trips Away From Purchasing Correct Light Bulbs
FORT BEND, IN — After picking up a new pack of bulbs for the kitchen light fixture, local man Kyle Stephens was just 17 more trips to Home Depot away from having the correct light bulbs.Stephens quickly discovered that the bulbs he purchased had…
Mechanic Has No Idea How Dodge Caravan Still Running
TEMPE, AZ — After taking a look under the hood of the Barton family's Dodge Caravan, local mechanic Terry Ricks admitted that he has absolutely no clue how the van was still functioning.Ricks explained to Mr. Barton that the Dodge Caravan…
Like Genghis Khan Gazing Over His Empire, Man Watches As Fixed Sprinkler No Longer Waters Driveway
OGDEN, UT — As the great Khan once stood admiring the vast reaches of his empire, so local man Philip Bauer stood this morning, watching as his freshly-repaired sprinkler no longer watered the driveway.Bauer gazed for several minutes over the…
Kristan Hawkins Lobbies Feds to Enforce Comstock Act
The Supreme Court this week temporarily allowed women to obtain chemical abortion pills remotely while it considers Louisiana’s case against the FDA’s regulation of mifepristone. Behind closed doors, Students for Life President Kristan Hawkins…
Congress Must Extend Defund of Planned Parenthood
This Fourth of July will be a huge celebration of America’s 250th birthday. It will also be the day our nation’s largest abortion giant, Planned Parenthood, receives a multi-million-dollar gift – unless Congress intervenes. Last year, Congress…
Man On Day Seven Of Doing 15-Minute Task
LOS ANGELES — Alan Maxwell recently entered day seven of a simple task that would take most normal adults no more than 15 minutes to complete.According to sources, it all started a week ago when his wife asked him to change the HVAC air filters…
National Association of Dogs Announce They Deserve a Little Treat
SILVER SPRING, MD — The National Association of Dogs issued a formal declaration Thursday confirming that they, as a collective, definitely deserve a little treat.The announcement came during an emergency press conference which was briefly…
Hospital Bill Just Picture Of Sad-Looking Mr. Monopoly With His Pockets Turned Inside Out
PENSACOLA, FL — Local man Steve Jacobs reported receiving a hospital bill this week that contained nothing but a photo of a sad-faced Mr. Monopoly with his pockets turned out."I don't know what this means, but it can't be…
Relationship Experts Say Engagement Ring Should Cost At Least Two Tanks Of Gas
LOS ANGELES, CA — New data from relationship experts says an engagement ring should cost at least two full tanks of gas, information that many believe will make it difficult for young couples to find something in their budgets."A good…