Sports
Trump Signs Executive Order Mandating The Only Artist Who Can Perform The Super Bowl Halftime Show Is Creed
WASHINGTON, D.C. — America took yet another step away from destructive progressive policies and toward a new Golden Age today, as President Donald Trump signed an executive order mandating that the only musical act that can perform at the Super…
Satchel Paige: No Man Got to Be Common
Most Major League Baseball players retire from the sport before the age of 40. Do you know who holds the record as the oldest MLB player ever? That would be the late, great Leroy “Satchel” Paige, a remarkable American who many baseball…
Conservatives Announce Boycott Of NFL Until Next Sunday
U.S. — Following the announcement that music artist Bad Bunny would be performing at the Super Bowl halftime show, outraged conservatives across the country vowed to boycott the NFL until next Sunday.Angry fans from largely conservative areas of…
Super Bowl Halftime Show To Feature MS-13 Backup Dancers
NEW YORK, NY — In addition to announcing that music star Bad Bunny would be performing, the National Football League issued a follow-up statement revealing that the Super Bowl halftime show would also feature authentic MS-13 backup…
Smart: This Man Joined The Mets So He Could Get Whole October Off Every Year
NEW YORK, NY — In a move experts now hail as one of the more shrewd decisions made in the professional sports world in the last several years, star baseball player Juan Soto revealed that he joined the Mets so he could get the entire month of…
NFL Hoping To Win Back Conservatives With Super Bowl Performance By Spanish-Speaking Man In Dress
U.S. — The National Football League is apparently working double time to win back its conservative fanbase by planning a Super Bowl halftime show with a Spanish-speaking man in a dress.Puerto Rican rapper and singer Bad Bunny has officially…
‘It’s Still Early, There’s A Lot Of Baseball Left,’ Says Man Whose Team Is Losing By 7 Runs In The 9th
SAN DIEGO, CA — According to sources, local man Chris Martin exhibited signs of delusional behavior last night as he continued to hold out hope that his favorite baseball team could still pull out a win despite being down by 7 runs in the 9th…