U.S.
L.A. Hosts Yet Another Pride Parade
LOS ANGELES, CA — In celebration of a historic weekend that brought excitement and joy to the entire city, crowds gathered downtown as Los Angeles hosted yet another flamboyant Pride parade.Revelers from throughout the greater L.A. metropolitan…
Government Once Again Casts Nation Into 4:30 P.M. Darkness
U.S. — According to sources, the hidden upper echelon embedded in the United States government once again reveled in victory as it cast the nation into darkness at 4:30 p.m., like it does every year. Daylight Saving Time, which was instituted to…
The Nightmare Is Over: Supreme Court Outlaws Candy Corn
U.S. — Americans all over the country celebrated the news that the national nightmare that had lasted for generations was finally over, as the United States Supreme Court outlawed candy corn.In a landmark 8-1 ruling, the nation's highest…
Trump Orders Nuclear Weapons Testing To Be Carried Out By The Guys From Dude Perfect
U.S. — For the first time since 1992, the United States planned to resume nuclear weapons testing. President Donald Trump ordered the Pentagon to resume tests immediately and to "get the guys from Dude Perfect" to do it.With rival…
Furloughed TSA Agents Go Door-To-Door Offering To Grope People For Free
ARLINGTON, VA — As the government shut-down drags on, furloughed TSA agents have begun going door-to-door offering to grope people for free.Despite no longer being paid, TSA agents have voluntarily walked the streets to keep patting people down…
Newsom Continues To Endanger Public By Issuing Drivers’ Licenses To Women
SACRAMENTO, CA — Gavin Newsom has doubled down on California's commitment to endangering public safety by issuing driver's licenses to women.No longer content with issuing commercial licenses to unqualified illegal immigrants who…
Animatronic ICE Agents Raid Disneyland’s ‘It’s A Small World’
ANAHEIM, CA — The Disneyland theme park was shut down briefly on Friday following an incident where animatronic ICE agents raided the "It's a Small World" attraction in search of audio-animatronic dolls that were in the county…
Trump Makes 73rd Trip To Home Depot Since Start Of White House Renovation
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As demo and construction continued on the highly publicized construction project to build a new White House ballroom, a new report said President Donald Trump had already made his 73rd trip to Home Depot since the start of the…
Trump Unveils White House Water Slide
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced this week that as part of the White House renovation, he will be installing a giant water slide on the roof that will go all the way down to the Rose Garden."Our country has been without a…
Trump Declares White House ‘ICE Free Zone’ Until Construction On New Ballroom Is Done
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump has declared the White House a no-go zone for ICE raids until construction is completed on the new ballroom.Trump assured all the construction workers on site that everything would be cool so long as they were…