World
Iranian Regime Calls White House To Ask If They Can Have Biden Back
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Faced with the threat of their total annihilation, the Islamic Republic of Iran reportedly contacted the White House on Thursday to ask if they could "please have Joe Biden back."White House officials confirmed that…
America Graciously Converts 20 Iranian Warships Into New Submarines
PERSIAN GULF — In a sign of enormous good will, American forces helpfully converted 20 Iranian warships into submarines."Several Iranian warships are not sitting at the bottom of the Persian Gulf," reported War Secretary Pete Hegseth.…
Conservatives Express Concern Over Foreign Wars And OOHHH DANG OUR SUBMARINE JUST BLEW UP A BOAT HECK YEAH WE ARE SO BACK
U.S. — Conservatives across the country have expressed concern over the United States becoming entangled in another foreign war -- OHHH DANG OUR SUBMARINE JUST FRIGGIN' TORPEDOED A BOAT WE ARE SO BACK!!!WE'RE TALKING PERISCOPE VIDEOS…
Sad: Iran’s ‘Assembly Of Experts’ Forgets To Include Expert On Not Getting Blown Up
TEHRAN — In a tragic oversight, Iran's "Assembly of Experts" forgot to include an expert in not dying in a massive fireball.Tasked with choosing the next Ayatollah, the entire Assembly of Experts was blown into tiny pieces…
Biden Asks Why Trump Didn’t Just Bomb Ayatollah In the Leg
DOVER, DE — In the wake of the highly successful decapitation of Iran's tyrannical dictatorship, former American president Joe Biden asked why Trump didn't just bomb the Ayatollah in the leg. Sources say that the aged, decrepit Biden…
Iran Introduces New Ayatollah | Babylon Bee
TEHRAN — The Iranian government has officially announced a successor to Ayatollah Khamenei, introducing today the new Supreme Ayatollah, Tucker Carlson.Ayatollah Carlson will immediately take the helm as the foremost political leader for the…
British Citizens Politely Ask If They Can Be Liberated From Radical Islam Next
LONDON — British citizens have politely asked if perhaps they could be next on the list for liberation from radical Islam.As they watched the crumbling Iranian government teeter after heavy military strikes overnight, the British populace…
The U.S. Just Attacked Iran: Here’s What Happens Next
The United States launched a major military attack on Iran overnight, striking dozens of high-level targets across the nation. As the dust settles, everyone is asking the question: what happens next? Here is what's about to happen:The…
Ayatollah To Give Speech As Soon As Officials Find The Rest Of His Body
TEHRAN — Iranian officials have promised that Ayatollah Khamenei will give a speech just as soon as they have located the rest of his body.The Iranian government has said it will prove that the strikes on Iran have been a complete failure by…
Iranian Generals Kicking Themselves For Not Just Meeting Over Zoom
TEHRAN — Iranian military leaders are reportedly "really kicking themselves" for not just having their latest meeting over zoom.In hindsight, the Iranian generals who were still alive felt that perhaps gathering all of the…