World
Iran Asks Democrats For Tips On Running Country With Dead Leader
TEHRAN — Iranian government officials have reached out to the American Democratic Party for advice on how run a country with a dead leader.After enduring mockery for presenting the public a cardboard cutout of the new Ayatollah, Iranian…
Iran Warns U.S. It Has Huge Stockpile Of Supreme Leaders
TEHRAN — Amid rumors that the newly chosen Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei had been injured in an airstrike, the Iranian regime issued a statement warning the U.S. that it had a huge stockpile of supreme leaders.The embattled Islamic government has…
Europe Under Persistent Delusion Anyone Cares What It Thinks
BRUSSELS — As all eyes around the globe remained fixed on the ongoing U.S.-Iran conflict, leaders gathered for an important summit in a clear display that Europe remained under its persistent delusion that anyone cares what it thinks.Sources…
Iran Boasts It Has Destroyed Hundreds Of US Missiles With Its Buildings
TEHRAN — As the conflict in the Middle East stretched into a second week, the Iranian government issued a public statement boasting that it had destroyed hundreds of U.S. missiles with its buildings.Despite losing dozens of members of its…
U.S. Air Force Destroys $3,200 Iranian Regime Toyota With $30-Million Smart Bomb
TEHRAN — The United States Air Force confirmed a major strategic victory in Iran this week after it utilized a $30 million smart bomb to destroy one of Iran's used $3,200 Toyota pickup trucks.A Pentagon report of ongoing strikes in the…
Iranian Regime Calls White House To Ask If They Can Have Biden Back
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Faced with the threat of their total annihilation, the Islamic Republic of Iran reportedly contacted the White House on Thursday to ask if they could "please have Joe Biden back."White House officials confirmed that…
America Graciously Converts 20 Iranian Warships Into New Submarines
PERSIAN GULF — In a sign of enormous good will, American forces helpfully converted 20 Iranian warships into submarines."Several Iranian warships are not sitting at the bottom of the Persian Gulf," reported War Secretary Pete Hegseth.…
Conservatives Express Concern Over Foreign Wars And OOHHH DANG OUR SUBMARINE JUST BLEW UP A BOAT HECK YEAH WE ARE SO BACK
U.S. — Conservatives across the country have expressed concern over the United States becoming entangled in another foreign war -- OHHH DANG OUR SUBMARINE JUST FRIGGIN' TORPEDOED A BOAT WE ARE SO BACK!!!WE'RE TALKING PERISCOPE VIDEOS…
Sad: Iran’s ‘Assembly Of Experts’ Forgets To Include Expert On Not Getting Blown Up
TEHRAN — In a tragic oversight, Iran's "Assembly of Experts" forgot to include an expert in not dying in a massive fireball.Tasked with choosing the next Ayatollah, the entire Assembly of Experts was blown into tiny pieces…
Biden Asks Why Trump Didn’t Just Bomb Ayatollah In the Leg
DOVER, DE — In the wake of the highly successful decapitation of Iran's tyrannical dictatorship, former American president Joe Biden asked why Trump didn't just bomb the Ayatollah in the leg. Sources say that the aged, decrepit Biden…