World
Iran Introduces New Ayatollah | Babylon Bee
TEHRAN — The Iranian government has officially announced a successor to Ayatollah Khamenei, introducing today the new Supreme Ayatollah, Tucker Carlson.Ayatollah Carlson will immediately take the helm as the foremost political leader for the…
British Citizens Politely Ask If They Can Be Liberated From Radical Islam Next
LONDON — British citizens have politely asked if perhaps they could be next on the list for liberation from radical Islam.As they watched the crumbling Iranian government teeter after heavy military strikes overnight, the British populace…
The U.S. Just Attacked Iran: Here’s What Happens Next
The United States launched a major military attack on Iran overnight, striking dozens of high-level targets across the nation. As the dust settles, everyone is asking the question: what happens next? Here is what's about to happen:The…
Ayatollah To Give Speech As Soon As Officials Find The Rest Of His Body
TEHRAN — Iranian officials have promised that Ayatollah Khamenei will give a speech just as soon as they have located the rest of his body.The Iranian government has said it will prove that the strikes on Iran have been a complete failure by…
Iranian Generals Kicking Themselves For Not Just Meeting Over Zoom
TEHRAN — Iranian military leaders are reportedly "really kicking themselves" for not just having their latest meeting over zoom.In hindsight, the Iranian generals who were still alive felt that perhaps gathering all of the…
Iran Says They Will Rain Death And Destruction On The U.S. If They Are Bombed Two More Times
GENEVA — Amid ongoing negotiations over Tehran's nuclear program, Iran's Supreme Leader unequivocally informed the United States that they would rain death and destruction down upon them if they were bombed two more times. Maybe…
Man Scores Killer Discount On Flights To Puerto Vallarta
ATLANTA — Local man Brandon Haden reportedly wowed friends and family this week with a surprise trip to the exotic Mexican city of Puerto Vallarta, which he had purchased at a killer discount."They were practically giving these tickets away…
Cheer Up, Canada: Here Are 7 Things You’re Still Better At Than America
After a tough stretch at the 2026 Winter Olympics, Canadians are understandably feeling a little down. But it's not all that bad, Canada. There are still reasons to feel good about yourselves.The Babylon Bee is here to cheer up…
Winter Olympics To Protest Trump’s Immigration Policies By Removing Ice From Skating Rinks
MILAN — The most prestigious athletic event on the world stage issued a clear political statement this week, as the Winter Olympics announced it would be protesting U.S. President Donald Trump's immigration policies by removing all ice from…
Damning Photos Surface Of Clippy On Epstein Island
U.S. — The new trove of Epstein documents has revealed damning photos of Microsoft's former assistant "Clippy" visiting Epstein island.Several compromising pictures released by the DOJ have placed the anthropomorphic paper clip at…