U.S. — On the heels of yet another attempted act of political violence being used for laughs by late-night talk show hosts, Americans expressed a deep longing for the good old days when comedians were funny and didn’t wish death on people.
President Donald Trump survived another attempt on his life over the weekend, with the would-be assassin being taken down by law enforcement. Comedian Jimmy Kimmel then posted a White House Correspondents’ Dinner speech complimenting Melania Trump on having “the glow of an expectant widow,” leaving viewers yearning for days gone by when comedians would make people laugh and not hope for other human beings to be murdered.
“Those were the days,” said television viewer Jeff Stevenson. “I remember way back when comedians would say stuff that made everyone laugh, and there weren’t any instances of them expressing sincere hopes that anyone would be gunned down. I guess being a comedian is a lost art these days. I don’t recall Johnny Carson ever calling for anyone to be assassinated. He probably could’ve made it happen, too.”
Others seconded the nostalgic remembrance of the former times, when late-night talk shows were enjoyable and didn’t reek of reveling in murder and political violence. “We didn’t know how good we had it,” said disappointed citizen Jennifer Blake. “It sure would be nice to sit back and laugh at some jokes without someone wishing death on someone else. Sadly, those days are gone.”
At publishing time, Jimmy Kimmel had invited the failed Trump assassin to appear on his talk show so they could have a good laugh about the near-killing of someone they don’t like.
California transplants Steve and Timpani try to be the perfect Texas hosts for Brittuni’s visit, but Steve quickly realizes he needs a sensible vehicle now that he’s about to become a dad.
