life
Fellow Pop-Tarts Gather To Bow Down Before Preeminent Brown Sugar Pop-Tart
BROKEN BOW, OK — In a beautiful scene, fellow Pop-Tarts gathered on a kitchen table this morning to bow down and pay homage to a box of Brown Sugar Cinnamon, undisputed king of the Pop-Tarts.The preeminent yet humble Brown Sugar Cinnamon…
Taxpayer Money Should Never Go to Planned Parenthood For Any Reason Ever
It might surprise you to learn that the Trump administration has restored millions of dollars in funding to pro-abortion groups, including Planned Parenthood. Last spring, federal monies designated for the “Title X Family Planning Program” had…
Hole In Man’s Heart Turns Out To Be In Shape Of Mini-Excavator
TYLER, TX — Local man Ryan Jennings discovered today that the hole in his heart was actually in the precise shape of a seven-ton mini-excavator. Upon his ascension into the cab and first feel of the controls, Jennings suddenly felt as if the…
The Untold Story of How Cardinal Dolan Helped Make a Times Square Pro-Life Rally Possible
Many evangelicals are aware of Timothy Michael Dolan, the Apostolic Administrator of the Archdiocese of New York’s 2.8 million Catholics. Cardinal Dolan, as he is called, will be retiring next month. He’s been a priest for almost 50 years, and…
How Cardinal Dolan Made a Times Square Live Ultrasound Happen
Many evangelicals are aware of Timothy Michael Dolan, the Apostolic Administrator of the Archdiocese of New York’s 2.8 million Catholics. Cardinal Dolan, as he is called, will be retiring next month. He’s been a priest for almost 50 years, and…
Colorado Pays $6.1 Million for Trying to Ban Abortion Pill Reversal
Colorado has agreed to pay $6.1 million in attorney fees for its unconstitutional attack on abortion pill reversal that was struck down by a federal court. The state will pay $5.4 million in attorneys fees to Becket, and another $700,000 to…
America’s Birthday Should Be a Declaration of the Right to Life
Red, white and blue confetti fell from the sky in Times Square, as a patriotic New Year’s Eve crystal ball came down to welcome 2026. At the same time, the Washington Monument lit up like a giant birthday candle for America, with video…
Man’s High School Hacky Sack Skills Woefully Underprepared Him For Adult Life
SAN JOSE, CA — Local man Jeremy Gibbons' incredible hacky sack skills have somehow left him woefully unprepared for adult life.Despite spending hundreds of hours throughout high school obtaining sick hacky sack skills, Gibbons has still…
Appeals Court Upholds Defunding of Big Abortion Businesses
A federal appeals court ruled the Trump administration can withhold taxpayer dollars from Big Abortion organizations – most notably Planned Parenthood. On Tuesday, December 30, the 1st U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals lifted a preliminary…
Perfect Day Ruined By People
SALEM, OR — Once again, a perfect day has been ruined by the existence of people.Local man Paul Jennings had woken up in an incredible mood, had a great prayer time followed by delicious bacon, only for his perfect day to come crashing down upon…