life
Old Guys Hanging Out At Denny’s At 6 A.M. Having Better Day Than You Could Ever Dream Of
LOST HILLS, CA — New reports show the four old guys hanging out at Denny's at 6 a.m. are having a better day than you or anyone else could possibly dream of.Art Baxter, Dean Crandle, Marty Sylvester, and Harold Palmer gathered Tuesday…
Old Guys Hanging Out At Denny’s At 6 A.M. Having Better Day Than You Could Ever Dream Of 882
LOST HILLS, CA — New reports show the four old guys hanging out at Denny's at 6 a.m. are having a better day than you or anyone else could possibly dream of.Art Baxter, Dean Crandle, Marty Sylvester, and Harold Palmer gathered Tuesday…
Man Cured Of Depression After Doctor Prescribes Millennium Falcon LEGO Set
BROWNSVILLE, NY — According to sources, local man Porter Caldwell was completely cured of his clinical depression, anxiety, and stress-related disorders after his doctor issued him a prescription for a 7,541-piece Millennium Falcon LEGO set.The…
Abortion Industry Promotes New, Dangerous Chemical Abortion Regimen
Pro-abortion organizations are touting a dangerous, unproven chemical abortion regimen to stymie potential regulations on the abortion drug mifepristone. An FDA-approved chemical abortion requires two pills. The first, mifepristone, kills the…
Smart Man Saves Time By Getting Angry Now Instead Of Waiting Until All The Facts Are Known
ALTOONA, PA — Local man Ted Woods got tired of all the time spent getting angry online. "There's always something new to get angry at each day," Woods said. "And you never know what time the facts will come out confirming the…
Supreme Court Restores Access to Mail-Order Abortion Pills While Legal Fight Continues
The Supreme Court Thursday granted a stay blocking enforcement of a lower court ruling that would have restricted access to the abortion pill mifepristone by mail. The Court’s decision allows abortionists to continue prescribing mifepristone…
White House Launches Moms.Gov Directing Women to Pregnancy Resource Centers
On Mother’s Day, the White House announced the creation of Mom.gov, an innovative website connecting new and expectant mothers with pregnancy resource centers and other helpful information. However, the website also directs women to drugs and…
Man Just 17 Home Depot Trips Away From Purchasing Correct Light Bulbs
FORT BEND, IN — After picking up a new pack of bulbs for the kitchen light fixture, local man Kyle Stephens was just 17 more trips to Home Depot away from having the correct light bulbs.Stephens quickly discovered that the bulbs he purchased had…
Mechanic Has No Idea How Dodge Caravan Still Running
TEMPE, AZ — After taking a look under the hood of the Barton family's Dodge Caravan, local mechanic Terry Ricks admitted that he has absolutely no clue how the van was still functioning.Ricks explained to Mr. Barton that the Dodge Caravan…
Like Genghis Khan Gazing Over His Empire, Man Watches As Fixed Sprinkler No Longer Waters Driveway
OGDEN, UT — As the great Khan once stood admiring the vast reaches of his empire, so local man Philip Bauer stood this morning, watching as his freshly-repaired sprinkler no longer watered the driveway.Bauer gazed for several minutes over the…