life
Kristan Hawkins Lobbies Feds to Enforce Comstock Act
The Supreme Court this week temporarily allowed women to obtain chemical abortion pills remotely while it considers Louisiana’s case against the FDA’s regulation of mifepristone. Behind closed doors, Students for Life President Kristan Hawkins…
Congress Must Extend Defund of Planned Parenthood
This Fourth of July will be a huge celebration of America’s 250th birthday. It will also be the day our nation’s largest abortion giant, Planned Parenthood, receives a multi-million-dollar gift – unless Congress intervenes. Last year, Congress…
Man On Day Seven Of Doing 15-Minute Task
LOS ANGELES — Alan Maxwell recently entered day seven of a simple task that would take most normal adults no more than 15 minutes to complete.According to sources, it all started a week ago when his wife asked him to change the HVAC air filters…
National Association of Dogs Announce They Deserve a Little Treat
SILVER SPRING, MD — The National Association of Dogs issued a formal declaration Thursday confirming that they, as a collective, definitely deserve a little treat.The announcement came during an emergency press conference which was briefly…
Hospital Bill Just Picture Of Sad-Looking Mr. Monopoly With His Pockets Turned Inside Out
PENSACOLA, FL — Local man Steve Jacobs reported receiving a hospital bill this week that contained nothing but a photo of a sad-faced Mr. Monopoly with his pockets turned out."I don't know what this means, but it can't be…
Relationship Experts Say Engagement Ring Should Cost At Least Two Tanks Of Gas
LOS ANGELES, CA — New data from relationship experts says an engagement ring should cost at least two full tanks of gas, information that many believe will make it difficult for young couples to find something in their budgets."A good…
Smoke Alarm Patiently Waits Until 3 A.M. To Announce Low Battery
MACON, GA — A smoke alarm living in the house of a local family waited patiently until all the home's occupants went to sleep to start beeping loudly sometime around 3 A.M. to announce that its battery was low."It's my duty as a…
Rep. Brandon Gill’s Bluntness Exposes the Barbarians of Abortion
It seems that even for zealots of the evil, advocating for access to abortion is easier than talking about abortion itself. Testifying on Tuesday before the House Judiciary Subcommittee on the Constitution and Limited Government, Professor…
Should Colleges Be Forced to Push Abortion Pills on Campus? Colorado Lawmakers Say Yes
Colorado is once again attempting to establish itself as one of the most progressive states in the nation on abortion policy. A new bill would require most colleges and universities to provide access to abortion pills through student health…
Two Bros Caught In Infinite Loop After Greeting, ‘I’m Good, Man, How Are You?’
CHINO, CA — A casual greeting between two local men quickly turned disastrous, ensnaring them in an infinite loop of saying, "I'm good, man, how are you?"According to witnesses, Raymond Sheffield greeted longtime "bro"…