life
Death Of Awkward Conversation Marked By Simultaneous Drink Sipping
VISALIA, CA — According to sources, an awkward conversation spiraled toward its inevitable end Tuesday, marked by simultaneous drink sipping.Two friends who hadn't seen each other in years attempted to reconnect this week only to discover…
Tragic: Man Runs Out Of Conversation Topics 45 Seconds Into Haircut
KANSAS CITY, MO — Tragedy struck in a local barbershop today, as a man realized just 45 seconds into getting his haircut that he had already run out of all conversation topics.The incident occurred Saturday afternoon at The Upper Cut, as…
17-Year-Old Trick-Or-Treater Dresses Up As 17-Year-Old Wearing a Hoodie
HADDONFIELD, NJ — Reports coming in on Halloween indicated that one 17-year-old trick-or-treater had been sighted making the rounds early in the afternoon dressed up as a 17-year-old wearing a hoodie.According to sources, the young man, later…
Man Longs For Simpler Time Before Grandma Discovered Emojis
MACON, GA — Local man John Gardener expressed longing this week for a simpler, better time before his grandmother learned how to use emojis in texts and social media posts.Though he clarified that he loved his grandmother, Dorothy, dearly, his…
Sad: This Kid’s Uncle Actually Works At Nintendo But No One Will Believe Him
SEATTLE, WA — In a cruel twist of fate, local boy Steven Brent actually has an uncle who works at Nintendo, but no one will believe him because of the popular meme."No, really! I'm not joking! My uncle works at Nintendo. He showed me…
4-Year-Old Rebel Defies Convention And Climbs Up Slide
BORGER, TX — Rebellious four-year-old Brayden Wheeler defied millennia of norms and convention this morning as instead of going down the slide at the playground, he climbed up.A daredevil renegade with an attitude to match, Wheeler posed at the…
Man Breaks Down Sobbing As He Admits To Cashier He Is Not A Walgreens Rewards Member
PERU, IL — Walgreens cashier Brent Hillside took a hiatus from his job this week after dealing with what he described as a strangely emotional customer who began sobbing uncontrollably when he asked him if he was a Walgreens Rewards…
Man Achieves Lifelong Dream Of Being In Boarding Group 2
ATLANTA, GA — Traveler Dale Galveston achieved a lifelong dream of boarding a plane in Boarding Group 2 at the Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport on his way to New York City."I got a little teary-eyed, I won't lie,"…
Seven Radical Abortion Bills Advance in Pennsylvania
The Pennsylvania House Judiciary Committee advanced seven radical abortion bills Wednesday that would protect, expand and fund the abortion industry. Each bill passed in a 14-12, party line vote, with Democrat committee members voting for the…
Serial Killer Unwinds After A Long Day By Listening To His Favorite Podcast About Housewives
DAYTONA BEACH, FL — Local serial killer Lester Carlisle told his friends that there's nothing he enjoys more than unwinding after a long day by taking a hot bubble bath with a nice drink and his favorite podcast about the lives of…